Saturday, February 4, 2012

Avery Bear

A week ago, on January 28th, I received a very special surprise in my mailbox. My Avery Bear arrived.

My special bear was made by a lovely organization called Molly Bears. They make beautiful weighted teddy bears for bereaved parents.  I was only on the waiting list for a short time, so I was pleasantly shocked to receive mine so soon.

I was even less prepared for how emotional it would be for me when I picked up the soft fluffy clump out of the box. The small pink bear weighs 8.2oz, just as much as my Avery weighed. Feeling my baby girl's weight in my hands once again released a sudden flood of emotions. I don't know if I can explain it, but the second I held it, I felt like it had only been yesterday that I'd felt Avery in my hands. The weight of the bear felt so familiar. I bawled for my daughter like I haven't in quite a while. I felt closer to her. She felt less distant. Less in the past. I couldn't believe that a small weighted teddy bear could do that for me. To snuggle that stuffed animal was so comforting. I am so grateful to have it. It will forever be a huge part of our family. A special symbol of our precious little girl.

My precious boy with his big sister's bear.


Ausmerican Housewife said...

I definitely know the feeling!

My mom (Evan's Gramma) made a weighted teddy bear for me. She liked the Molly Bear idea but couldn't afford for me to wait so long so she took matters into her own hands and made me one.

Evan Bear is almost the same length and weight (give or take a few ounces) as Evan. Its not the same as holding him but it's pretty close. I used to go into his nursery and hug a framed picture of him and it seemed to fill my empty arms. Evan Bear fills my arms so much better and is on my lap a lot during th evening. Lots of tears have been cried into his fur, lots of late night hugs when I need someone to hold onto.

Amy L. said...

I got my Aliya Amy and Bennett Paul bears the same week, during our horrific snowstorm. (How the postal delivery person made it is beyond me, but I was so grateful.) I felt the same flood emotion when I held them together to my chest. My babies weighed only 1.2 and 1.3 oz, respectively, but my body remembers what those weights felt like in my arms and the floodgates opened. I can't not cry now when I hold them every day.

Molly Bears is so wonderful...