I was just looking through my personal journal, seeing how I've progressed in the past months since Avery has been gone. I have to say I am proud of myself, for how far I've come. The bad days are fewer and my outlook is brighter. I came across a poem I jotted down in the journal, during a very angry moment. It was just five days after my gallbladder surgery and six days after Avery's 2 month 'birthday.' I wrote it on May 19, 2010. I thought I would share it here:
Resounding loss,
shattered plans;
Desolate heart,
empty hands
Scarring wound,
gaping hole;
Wavering faith,
tortured soul
Broken dream,
darkened light;
Stolen hope,
tormented nights
Plaguing thoughts,
crippling fears;
Constant sinking,
burning tears
Forsaken wishes,
perpetual pain;
Silent void,
drowning rain
Exhausted suffering,
festering doubt;
Searing absence,
suddenly without
Vacant cradle,
unuturable tomb;
Childless mother,
aching womb.
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3 comments:
Wow, that poem says it all. Thank you for sharing it.
The bad days definitely get farther apart. That does not mean that we forget or do not long for our little ones, just that the pain is not as intense. That is a good thing! Praying that each day is better than the one before! Hugs!
wow, Nicole. so well put.
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