First Post

Hi.

I have been itching to write. When I was a teenager I used to write fictional stories and loved it. I miss sitting in front of my computer for hours and just letting a story unfold, not knowing what was going to happen until I wrote it. It was exciting and fun. Lately, I have felt that urge again, wanting to create something that was exciting to write and exciting to read. But nothing has come to me. Coincidentally, however, several different people have randomly told me that I should be writing. Some of them know that I do have a love for it, but most do not. So maybe I am meant to write something. And there is only one topic that is huge on my heart. My baby girl. My Avery Nicole.
Also these past couple weeks, I have felt the desire to pass on the things I have learned and the feelings I have felt since my daughter died in March. I have noticed the lack of resources out there for mothers in my situation. Stillbirth is still taboo in most circles. I read yesterday that 980,000 child deaths occur each year due to miscarriage and stillbirth. 2 million parents are grieving the loss of children each year. Miscarriage is the number 1 cause of death in children at 43% and stillbirth is number 4 at 11%. So why doesn't society better cater to us? I still get Parents Magazine in the mail, even though my baby is no longer coming next week (my due date was June 22nd). Never have I seen any helpful articles on losing your child. It makes me feel as if I'm an outcast, or that I am not considered a 'Parent' since nothing in their magazine applies to me anymore. There needs to be more out there for mothers to come to. Something real. Something true. No fairy tale, rose colored, idealized depiction of what's "normal."
I, along with my husband, have been on a rough journey these past few months since Avery passed away in my womb. I wish I had started this blog at the beginning, to watch the transformation, but I will just have to rely on flashbacks from the earlier days. ;) This will be my thoughts, my rants on bad days, my praise reports on good days, and everything in between. But mostly, this will be my life without my sweet girl.